Cristine Reyes reveals inner wound caused by biological mother

Cristine recalls how living in a “hell house” made her angry and bitter in life.

Cristine Reyes on growing up in an “unloving environment” with her biological mother: “I remember whenever there’s a problem, I would constantly hear words, ‘You know, you should have died. You never should have been born. I tried so many times to abort you. You’re just something else. Your grip was there. You should have died.’ It was so painful.”
PHOTO/S: @cristinereyes Instagram

“I was told almost every night that I was unwanted.”

Ito ang rebelasyon ni Cristine Reyes tungkol sa childhood wounds na nagdulot ng matinding trauma sa kanya mula noong siya ay anim na taong gulang hanggang sa tumuntong siya ng edad na 21.

Sa podcast ni Liza Florida na Eight Billion Project, ikinuwento ni Cristine na anim na taong gulang siya nang malaman niyang siya ay adopted child.

Ang itinuring niyang “Daddy Metring,” na nagparamdam raw sa kanya ng tunay na parental love sa kabila ng simpleng buhay, ay hindi pala niya biological father.

Balik-tanaw ni Cristine: “So they sat me down, my Daddy Metring said… actually, it’s not him. It’s his wife Mommy Shirley.

“They told me, ‘Your’e not our real child.’ I was shocked. I don’t even remember if i said something. I think I was in a state shock.

“They said, ‘Your real mom is on the way here.’

“The next thing I remember, there’s a lady entering the house. It was the first time I met her in my memory.

“I remember my mom pulling me out. I was holding my Daddy Metring tightly. In my head, ‘Don’t let me go! Don’t let me go!’ I was crying.”

Nang makasakay sa kotse ng kanyang biological mother, puno pa rin ng paghihinagpis ang batang si Cristine.

“I still remember her driving. She said, ‘You have to forget about them. They’re not your family. I’m your mom.’

“So, I’m just quiet… I don’t know her.”

Pagdating ng bahay ng ina, naalala raw ni Cristine na malaki ang bahay na may limang malaking kuwarto. Kasya raw ang 10 hanggang 12 kotse sa laki ng garahe nila.

Pero sa murang edad ay hindi raw noon napawi ang sakit na dulot ng pagkawalay kay Daddy Metring.

Ani Cristine, “It wasn’t a very welcome for me. I think I don’t belong here.

“Ever since I moved to my biological mom, I felt that I didn’t have a voice. As much as possible, I don’t really talk.”

Tingin ni Cristine, may mabuting puso pa rin ang ina niya nang magpasya itong kunin siya mula sa adopted family dahil kadugo niya ito.

“I ABORTED YOU SO MANY TIMES. YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED.”

Pero napagtanto niyang wala raw kapasidad ang ina na alagaan silang anim na magkakapatid.

Puno raw ito ng galit sa puso na naibunton sa kanya.

Lahad ni Cristine: “I was very neglected at six years old. I remember whenever there’s a problem, I would constantly hear words, ‘You know, you should have died. You never should have been born.

“‘I tried so many times to abort you. You’re just something else. Your grip was there. You should have died.’”

Hindi lubos-maisip ni Cristine kung paano iyon nasabi ng sarili niyang ina.

Patuloy niya: “It was so painful. I grew up hearing that all the time.

“I came from a very loving family, a happy environment. And then all of a sudden, my life changed.

“What is this? I had to survive. I was always at survival mode at [the age of] six.

“That’s when it started I always want to be alone. Because when I’m alone, I’m safe.”

CRISTINE ON LIVING IN A “HELL HOUSE”

Ayon pa kay Cristine, “hell house” ang tawag niya noon sa malaking tirahan ng kanyang pamilya dahil sa masasakit na pananalita ng kanyang ina.

“For me, I know it’s wrong. But I couldn’t say, ‘Don’t say that.’

“Because in our culture, if you answer back, you are a disrespectful child. And you can’t tell anyone about it.

“As a child, you just follow rules.”

Kaya raw laking tuwa niya na kinalaunan ay nagkaroon siya ng sariling kuwarto kung saan puwede siya magkulong.

Siya ay 21 years old nang bumukod na siya sa pamilya at nagkaroon ng sariling bahay.

Pero nagdulot daw kay Cristine ng trauma ang karanasan niya. Palagi raw siyang takot dahil sa mga salitang ayaw ng ina niyang mabuhay siya sa mundo.

“Until now, I’m always scared,” pag-amin pa ni Cristine.